Sinister Sakkaran Stones and Other Silly Things

As of this session's end, Sinbad is level 3; and Borgnar, Aladdin, and Gnarrr are all level 2. So their survival potential has all been enhanced noticeably. (Assuming that they can find some way of getting around Aladdin's blindness.)

Session VI

The cast:

  • Hugo Reyes, Elvish Spellsword
  • “Gaz” “Gazebo” Gazorpazorpfield, tentacle'd Dwarven Craftpriest
  • Sinbad, Venturer
  • Audarius, his henchman, Fighter
  • Borgnar, Mystic
  • Gnarrr, Thrassian Gladiator
  • Aladdin, Elvish Nightblade

The party realized that a blind nightblade would be of little contribution. So they spent their time in Cyfaraun asking around to see if any restorative magic could be found. They were in luck: legend had it that the Viaspen contained a hidden shrine sacred to the Empyrean gods.

Since Aladdin was currently not fit to act as navigator, wandering through the forest could be a dangerous proposition. Yet Fate shined on them, and they discovered the shrine in less than a week. Its guardian, a proud unicorn, bestowed the shrine's magic upon Aladdin, and his sight was restored. In return, the nightblade accepted a geas to slay Idimmu the Demonic, the dragon known to lair in the buried temple. Hearing that his friend had been geased, Sinbad quipped “Just remember, every day you tarry in this task will leave the rest of us completely unharmed.” Gaz hoped to have his wounds healed as well. But the unicorn informed him sadly that the shrine's powers would not work on him, tainted as he was by chthonic sorcery.

Reaching the edge of the forest, Aladdin and Hugo noticed a circular patch of wheat of unusual vivacity. In the center of this wheat patch was a farmhouse; nearby was a solitary scarecrow. Such a description matched a rumor Sinbad had heard back in Cyfaraun. Their attentions piqued, the adventurers approached the farmhouse, following a narrow path of beaten-down wheat. Inside the farmhouse was a deathly wounded man. Upon seeing the party, he whispered, “Now you too are trapped...” Sinbad offered him some food, which the man greedily took, but he offered no other information. The group decided to test his claim, and they attempted to leave. To their surprise, the wheat around them was regrowing, and the path they had taken was almost gone. Furthermore, a few steps away from the farmhouse, a massive tentacle burst from the ground and ripped at Sinbad before vanishing back into the earth.

The adventurers broke into a mad dash for the road. Fortune shined on them, and all but Hugo made it. And even then, in a remarkable feat of strength, the puny Sinbad dragged his friend's body to safety. It turned out that the spellsword's tongue had been ripped from his mouth by the hidden monstrosity. Gaz sincerely apologized for the behavior of this particular tentacled creature and promised that not everything with tentacles was inherently evil.

The nearest settlement was the outpost of Türos Spen. Hugo would need a month's rest before he was fit for longer travel, so the group resigned to wait there. During this period of convalescence, the adventurers heard that their fellow adventuring party, the Fierce Brethren, long thought lost, had stumbled out of the Viamir Marshes. They too had discovered the buried temple, and had slain some number of orcs and hobgoblins in it. The party resolved to stand firm against their competition.

Even healthy, Hugo would be of little use as a spellcaster so long as he lacked a tongue. So Cyfaraun was again ventured to. The party just barely managed to scrape together enough gold to pay for his restoration, which luckily went well. Sinbad wondered to Borgnar whether it would be possible to keep Audarius on retainer given their financial situation. The party needed a big score on their next outing. While waiting for Hugo to recover, Aladdin heard news that a new organization was said to have appeared in Cyfaraun. Little was known about them save their (rather unpleasant) name: The Brotherhood of Pus.

Finally, the adventurers were prepared to return to the buried temple, to seek Idimmu the Demonic. Thanks to the Fierce Brethren, the temple was still fairly empty. Some member of their counterpart group had a most peculiar tic: a true passion for labeling. “Orcs (dead)” was written on a note attached to a pile of orcish bodies. “Blood (hobgoblin)” read another. And so on. Hugo was truly perplexed as to why anyone would do this.

The party knew that Idimmu had to be making his lair in the great ziggurat they had noticed in the northwest corner of the temple. So into this room they ventured, unsure if any of them would leave it alive. The wyrm was awake and aware of their intrusion. From the top of the ziggurat, he beckoned one of them approach and do him homage. Trembling, Sinbad stepped forward. Idimmu asked what tribute the venturer had brought for him. Searching his pockets, Sinbad realized he had no valuables at all on his person. So he presented the old, worn pair of bone dice he carried with him for gambling. He fully expected to be devoured for such a paltry offering, but, instead, Idimmu was amused by his audacity and bid him rejoin his companions.

Nervously, the party looked at one another. For Aladdin's geas to be lifted, the dragon would have to be slain. But how could such a feat be done? Lacking a better plan, they lifted their weapons and charged. Yet here Fate turned decisively against them. As if he had expected such treachery, Idimmu flew forward before the adventurers had had time to fan out. And with a single blast of his corrosive breath, he ended the lives of Sinbad, Borgnar, Gnarrr, Aladdin, and Hugo. One might hope that their deaths were at least painless, but this was probably untrue. Audarius had carefully ensured during the advance that he remained by the room's exit, and he beat a hasty departure at this turn of events.

So only Gaz remained. He was too far away from the exit Audarius had taken, so he instead chose a nearby door and dashed through it. Yet not content with her accomplishments for the day, Fate cruelly twisted her knife. For the room Gaz now found himself in was tiny and lacking in any means of escape. The dwarf knew his chances of survival were slim. He made peace with his gods, raised his enchanted mace, and swung at Idimmu. He got in one good hit, and then the dragon ended him.

Mortal Wounds Count:

  • Hugo, tongue ripped out by tentacled beast

Tampering with Mortality Count:

  • Hugo, drained spirit

Death Count:

  • Hugo
  • Gazorpazorpfield
  • Borgnar
  • Sinbad
  • Gnarrr
  • Aladdin

Survival Count:

  • Audarius

A tragic end to a great read. Will they try again?

My players are the true gluttons for punishment of this campaign. After the TPK, they insisted on rolling up a new party and playing again the very next day.

Session VII

A shorter session, as new characters needed to be rolled up.

The cast:

  • Greg, a Barbarian
  • Krombopulos Michael (“KM”), an Elvish Ranger
  • Brother Pele, a Mage
  • Dayman, a Paladin
  • Crispin, a Zaharan Ruinguard
  • Maximore, a Thrassian Abomination*

*Thrassian 4 / Hit Dice 3 / Fighting 1 with armor selection downgraded to Broad in exchange for Shapeshifting. Probably overpowered. Maximore spends most of his time in settlements as a hawk on Crispin's arm because his monstrous countenance horrifies all sane men and impels them to violence

In recent months, beastmen attacks have ravaged the fertile farms of the Borderlands. Lacking the manpower to stop them himself, the stern and proud Legate of the mighty fortress Türos Tem has put out a call for brave (or foolhardy) adventurers. They will risk their lives and stop the attacks for gold and glory (and XP, obviously). Six such would-be heroes answer the call and make their way to Türos Tem to halt the beastman tide.

At the gates of Türos Tem, the adventurers were told that, should they wish to fight the beastmen, they should seek out a man named Audarius. A previous group of adventurers had come to a bad end while fighting the beastmen, and he, the only survivor, might know something of value. He had not fared well since the slaughter and could normally be found at the traveler's inn, severely inebriated.

Inside Türos Tem, the party noticed a number of wounded soldiers spread throughout the grounds. According to a nearby legionary, another group of adventurers, the Fierce Brethren, had successfully slain most of the beastmen that laired in the buried temple. Thinking their victory imminent, they had heard from a prisoner that a notorious band of bugbears was en route from Old Zahar, with the intent to reinforce the other beastmen at the buried temple. What had summoned them was yet unknown. The Brethren had notified the legate of Türos Tem, who had gathered what forces he could spare. A fierce and desperate battle was waged on the banks of the Krysivor River. There had been few survivors on either side, and the Borderlands' garrisons were now tragically depleted.

The group also learned from this soldier that there was a new bandit king in the region. Peleos Methori, former subaltern of Türos Tem, had abandoned his duty to lead an army of brigands in a war against society. No one knew what had prompted him to act so, but he had been acting peculiarly ever since the Fierce Brethren had slain Drusus, the former bandit king, and brought his head to the Legate.

The adventurers headed over to the tavern, where they found Audarius, surrounded by empty steins and mugs. After repeatedly disparaging the skill of his former employers, he revealed he had a collection of the notes and maps they had made while exploring the buried temple. He would gladly give them to this new group...in exchange for a hundred gold pieces. The adventurers deliberated, negotiated, and made the trade. Then they cannily waited for the former soldier to collapse in a drunken stupor and took back their money.

Augmented by the past's discoveries, they ventured to the buried temple. The temple's entrance was guarded by a group of goblins, with whom peaceful contact was made. The goblins claimed to be servants of two great bugbears, Maul Killig and Cresher Bulbnak, who were both unbelievably rich. The bugbears and their goblin underlings had taken up residence in what had once been the kobold king's lair, the original goblin portion of the temple still considered haunted. There were currently no bandits in the area; having quarreled with Maul and Cresher, Peleos had taken his men and left.

The adventurers decided it was time to mount an assault. They cut through the newly arrived goblins with ease, and they soon made the acquaintance of Maul and Cresher. The two bugbears adeptly got the drop on the party, and Brother Pele surely would have fallen to a bugbear morningstar had Greg not bravely stepped forward and slowed the beastman advance. Yet bugbears' goblin minions were only goblins, and, although Maul and Cresher brought down Maximore with skillful teamwork, they too fell to the adventurer's fury. The Thrassian proved to be no worse for the wear, losing only an unessential front tooth. In these fights, KM proved himself an exceptionally talented archer. Yet he also demonstrated that he had little concept of ammo conservation, and he had to go beg Greg for some of the barbarian's arrows after only two battles.

Although the goblin guards had exaggerated the power of Maul and Cresher, they had not overstated their fabulous wealth. The two bugbears' stash totaled almost 10,000 gold pieces. Knowing that such a bounty was now theirs, they must not have been overly saddened by the deaths of their fellows in battle against the Aurans. Maximore drooled profusely upon seeing all this money, although it may have only been an aftereffect of his wounded mouth. Getting such a hoard back to civilization would be quite a struggle, so the adventurers first took it to the abandoned bandit camp, where they spent the night. While on watch, Dayman acted on a hunch and detected evil on the door in the bandit camp that lead to the temple's second level. That level was known to be filled with undead, so perhaps the door itself might have some fell properties. It did not.

With the help of KM's woodman knowledge, the party made it to Türos Tem without issue. Greg and Crispin presented the heads of the bugbears to the keep's legate. They had slain what were clearly bugbear royals and hoped to claim a great reward. Yet the legate was unimpressed: “These bugbears were leaders of goblins, not leaders of bugbears. Bugbear kings would never demean themselves so.” Yet this setback meant that the adventurers were merely “rich” instead of “absurdly rich”, and few tears were shed.

Cyfaraun was hastened to, as the bugbears' trove was begging to be spent lavishly. Dayman decided to be reasonable, and he purchased a comfortable townhouse. Crispin followed his example and bought a cottage. Maximore debated with himself whether a statue promoting Thrassian-human friendship or an urban bird sanctuary would be more appropriate. Unsure what red tape he would have to go through to have the former displayed in a public place, he ultimately decided on the latter.

Feeling as if they were invincible, the adventurers planned their next move.

Mortal Wound Count:

  • Maximore, lost a tooth after getting hit by bugbear's morningstar

Death Count:

  • None!

Session VIII

The cast:

  • Greg, a Barbarian
  • Krombopulos Michael (“KM”), an Elvish Ranger
  • Brother Pele, a Mage
  • Dayman, a Paladin
  • Crispin, a Zaharan Ruinguard
  • Maximore, a Thrassian Abomination

The adventurers remained in Cyfaraun for roughly a week. They deliberated for some time over their course of action before eventually deciding to venture to the farmhouse their predecessors had discovered northwest of Türos Spen. This required passing through another border fort, Türos Aster. While there, they happened to encounter its tribune, Tyrimmas. He mentioned that survivors of the recently destroyed bugbear warband seemed to have taken refuge in a ruined imperial fortress directly across the river from Türos Aster. Tyrimmas did not know precisely how many bugbears there were, but, surely, the longer they were allowed to lair there, the more their numbers would increase. The adventurers came to an agreement with Tyrimmas: should they attack the bugbears, he would furnish them with some of his men to assist in the assault. Then they continued to the farmhouse.

First Greg loosed a shot at the farmhouse's scarecrow. He was not sure what he might accomplish, but he thought it a good idea nonetheless. His arrow arced true and pierced the straw man. Yet suddenly the barbarian cried out in intense pain: a wound, the precise mirror of what he had dealt to the scarecrow, had appeared on his own chest!

Warned by their predecessors' notes, they knew not to expose their entire group to the giant tentacles. Instead, only Maximore crossed the wheat field. Venturing inside, he found yet another wounded man lying on the floor. He wondered if it were the same one as before, or a new one. He was not able to enquire as to the man's identity, for man was driven to an incoherent rage by the Thrassian's monstrous countenance, and proved to be a poor conversation partner. Maximore ignored this angry man and looked around the farmhouse. As before, there were two bodies in smaller rooms adjoining the main area. Maximore also discovered an ornate rapier, and a great tome. Being barely literate, he could deduce nothing about its contents. The lizard-man decided he had discovered as much as he could and, preparing to good his exit, transformed into his hawk form and took off. Yet, bizarrely, the tome he had found did not fold into his body as his possessions normally did. It would have to be left behind, and its secrets would remain unknown.

The Thrassian flew across the wheat field as quickly as he could. Despite being dozens of feet in the air, the great tentacles still sprung out of the ground and lashed at him mightily. Greg and KM did their best to cover his flight with fire from their bows, but despite their frantic shots, the Thrassian only barely escaped with his life. [He made it to safety with only 1 hit point left!]

The party quickly returned to Cyfaraun and hired a sage to determine what properties the sword they had found might have. Then they doubled back to Türos Aster and told the tribune they were ready to attack the bugbears. He thanked them somberly, knowing the enormity of the task they had accepted. Six of his soldiers stepped forward to join the war-party, each with an appropriately grim look on their face.

The party, now twelve in number, crossed the bridge and approached the fortress. Seeing it loom indomitably in front of them, they wryly cursed the engineering ingenuity of the Auran Empire. Fortunately, the ravages of time had pulled down a portion of the outer walls, and it was this gap they approached. They hoped to gain entrance to the fortress proper without attracting any attention, but they failed in this. Soon five bugbears hailed them from atop the walls. Initial communications were peaceful, but then the beastmen requested tribute. The adventurers had little money on their persons and were unwilling to part with it, so they switched interaction tactics and charged!

They quickly discovered this charge to be a most unwise idea, for the beastmen were skilled archers. Before the party could reach the wall, Maximore and Dayman had both taken severe wounds. Furthermore, another gang of bugbears stood waiting at the gap in the fortress's wall. The adventurers decided they had little chance of prevailing here and began to retreat. Yet even during the retreat, the bugbears continued their arrow barrage. Brother Pele attempted to save his friends with a sleep spell, but in doing so, he only made himself a target of priority, and took an arrow to the knee. Then Crispin fell: an arrow had pierced his back and severed his spine. Next was Greg, who fell and lamed both of his legs. Three of the Auran legionaries also took grievous wounds and had to be dragged away. One had been killed instantly by an arrow to the brain, but the other two would live to fight another day.

The bugbears stopped firing, and for a moment the party thought they were safe. Yet then a gang of beastmen charged from the fortress and demanded surrender. The adventurers exchanged glances, considered their odds, and dropped their weapons. The beastmen proved surprisingly lenient, taking only all of the party's gold and silver. What's more, the unconscious Pele's pockets were overlooked during the shakedown.

Defeated but mostly alive, the adventurers and legionaries returned to Türos Aster. Tragically, they had killed not a single bugbear. The tribune was saddened to learn of their failure, but he appreciated Dayman's efforts to save his men. He told the party that, should the bugbears attack, his remaining soldiers would be able to fend them off. But it was certain to be a close thing. Crispin, Greg, and Pele would need time to recover, so the party settled down to wait in Türos Aster.

Eventually, Cyfaraun was again returned to, and Crispin and Greg sought the healing of the temple of Ammonar. The restorations of their broken bodies had minimally disruptive side effects: Greg returned with cat-like eyes, and Crispin suspected he would now be vulnerable to being turned by a cleric. The adventurers were again confronted with the question of where next to go. They sought the guidance of Maximore's Thrassian gods, who told them there were no dragons in the Black Mire. So they made preparation to venture there.

Even a dragonless Mire would still be filled with danger: one inhabitant of Cyfaraun told the adventurers that in the Mire lived a necromancer who made his home on an island composed of thousands upon thousands of writhing undead bodies. Yet even that did not compare in strangeness to what happened on their day of departure: Two hunchbacked lizardmen showed up at Dayman's house and brought the party to “the oracle”, a woman made of alabaster. The oracle instructed the party to seek out her husband, the Frog God Idol, who could be found deep within the Mire. If they completed his task, he would surely reward them with magic to fight against the beastmen.

Finally having a goal, the party entered the Black Mires. They followed the oracle's instructions to where her husband might be found. Remarkably, they encountered no other life during their week of travel. Scouting ahead one day, Maximore spotted what appeared to be the island of dead flesh they had heard about, but the party managed to avoid an encounter.

Finally, they stood before the frog god idol. As the party approached him, they heard the massive statue's voice in their heads. It was hissing and sibilant. The idol asked that the adventurers find and return to him his three treasures of his distant engagement: an iron rose, a great wooden basket, and four hunks of amber. With these, he would (somehow) be made “whole” again.

Unsure of what sort of entity this idol might be, the party nonetheless accepted his challenge and prepared to seek out the treasures.

Mortal Wounds Count:

  • Brother Pele, wounded knee
  • Crispin, severed spine (later healed)
  • Greg, lamed legs (later healed)

Tampering with Mortality Count:

  • Crispin, treated as a wight for purposes of turning
  • Greg, cat-like eyes

Session IX

The cast:

  • Greg, a Barbarian
  • Krombopulos Michael (“KM”), an Elvish Ranger
  • Brother Pele, a Mage
  • Dayman, a PaladinCrispin, a Zaharan Ruinguard
  • Maximore, a Thrassian Abomination

The Black Mires stretched around the party. Somewhere in their depths were the Frog God's three treasures. But how might their locations be ascertained? Dayman and KM had decided that the Mires were more frightening than they had initially seemed, and both were quite reluctant to just go gallivanting off in the hopes of stumbling upon a giant basket. It was decided that Cyfaraun would be returned to. There a sage could be hired to pore over the legends and lore of the region. Perhaps he might discover useful clues. The party left the Black Mires, traveling as carefully as they could. Their remarkable luck endured, and they encountered no malign presences in the Mires. [Despite covering 21 hexes of the Mires, they had no chance encounters at all.]

The sage would need a month to do his research, so the adventures again returned to the buried temple. On this foray, they ventured into a previously unexplored section of the temple, a section they believed was inhabited by a band of hobgoblins. Yet instead of hobgoblins, they came upon piles and piles of goblin corpses, all of whom had been cleanly decapitated. The rot that had set into these corpses suggested they had been dead for quite some time. Deep in the goblin territory, the adventurers also found a large slanted well. Stabilized by his wings, Maximore crept down it. It descended for almost sixty feet; below it, as far as his torchlight extended, was a great pool of what could appeared to be blood. Sprouting from the center of the pool was a vast, tumorous growth covered in pink, fleshy tendrils that flitted through the air. After a moment, one of them darted toward Maximore and attempted to grab him. Luckily, he dodged out the way and made a hasty retreat.

The Thrassian related what he had seen to his friends, all of whom were horrified and disgusted. Dayman in fact felt the need to vomit profusely. Surely this pool must be connected in some way to The Lady and the temple's resurgent power. Yet the well seemed a poor venue through which an attack on the temple's lower floor might be launched, so the adventurers continued to move through the goblin territory. Whoever had killed all the goblins had left evidence of significant time spent looking for the goblins' treasure, yet they had not been completely successful: KM's elvish senses detected a hidden slot in a wall filled with gold and gems that the adventurers gleefully took.

North of the goblins' quarter were the long sought hobgoblins. First contact was made in a rather amusing manner: Temporarily quenching his lantern, KM cracked open a door and peered inside. All he saw was darkness, so he uncovered his light. The lantern revealed four hobgoblins who had been calmly watching his (supposedly) stealthy actions the entire time. Yet these beastmen seemed fatigued and mildly wounded, and battle was not joined. Instead, the party learned from the hobgoblins that the body of red liquid Maximore had seen was known as the “birthing pool”. Even these beastmen felt the need for hushed voices when talking about the pool and its contents.

The party thanked the hobgoblins for their time, closed the door, and then debated amongst themselves whether to attack their new friends. Dayman counseled against this treachery, yet his was the only voice of dissent. Greg and Maximore in particular repeatedly stated their desire to engage in excessive ultraviolence. Wounded as they were, the hobgoblins proved little match for the party, even when six more reinforcements showed up. As before, KM showed himself poorly disposed toward the idea of ammo conservation; he and Greg both exhausted their stashes of arrows in mere tens of seconds.

Yet as the assault continued, Maximore heard a cold voice in his head whisper “You are strong, and your friends are weak. Subdue them and bring them below to the Stone.” To the adventurers' horror, their Thrassian friend suddenly leapt at Dayman and savagely mauled him. Only a quick sleep spell by Crispin saved the paladin from being torn to pieces. With the Thrassian unconscious, Crispin was the next adventurer to feel the alien presence intruding on his mind. Yet he proved to be made of sterner stuff than his companion had been, and he easily resisted its commands. Unsure of what was menacing them, the adventurers began to withdraw, when suddenly a massive spider dropped from the ceiling and sank its fangs into Dayman. Already weakened, the paladin collapsed. Utterly terrified, the adventurers frantically attacked the beast, which proved less threatening than expected. Pele's summoned berserkers quickly tore it to shreds with their massive axes.

Unfortunately, closer examination of Dayman revealed that Maximore's brutal attack had lamed both of his legs. He would need time to heal as well as a divine restoration. So the adventurers withdrew from their temple, and continued their improbable string of luck by making it out of the Viaspen without encountering anything. They waited in Türos Tem until the worst of Dayman's wounds had healed, and then they traveled to Cyfaraun. There the paladin's legs were restored; in exchange, he was gifted a supernaturally insatiable appetite. While waiting for Dayman to recover from his restoration, Pele and KM met with the sage they had hired. The sage claimed to have learned the rough location of all three of the frog god's items.

  • One could be found in a pool somewhere along the Mirimen river
  • One lay in a labyrinth sacred to a forgotten god of weather. The labyrinth was somewhere in the southernmost reaches of the Mire, and was probably cursed.
  • One was surrounded by a vast amount of undead energy. (The adventurers guessed that referred to the necromancer's island of animated flesh.)

Even armed with this knowledge, the adventurers were still unsure if they were ready to return to the Black Mires. As always, they fiercely debated their next course of action.

Mortal Wounds Count:

  • Dayman, legs lamed by a possessed Maximore (later restored)

Tampering With Mortality Count:

  • Dayman, bottomless hunger

Spectacular! Glorious! And hilarious.

What level were the adventurers? With 10,000gp spread across 6 players, I reckon they were still 1st level, or at most 2nd level. Attacking a stronghold of bugbears seems...unwise?

That sounds about right. With reserve XP, I think KM and Dayman were level 2, and everyone else was still level 1. All the fighter types have quite high ACs at this point, but it still would have been a very difficult fight.

When I had the tribune mention the bugbears to the party, I was not expecting the players to immediately act on it. The previous session they had killed two bugbears with some amount of difficulty, so I figured learning that twelve were nearby would just be a "we should come back here later" moment.

Talking to the players after their assault went so absurdly poorly, it sounds like they were still sort of operating under the principle of "If the Judge mentions something we can do, then that thing is something we should do, as soon as possible". And in their defense, I was not as clear with describing the structure of the bugbear fortress as I could have been. I do not think they expected the fortress' walls to be large enough for archers to fire from atop them, for example.

Session X

The cast:

  • Greg, a Barbarian
  • Krombopulos Michael (“KM”), an Elvish Ranger
  • Brother Pele, a Mage
  • Dayman, a Paladin
  • Crispin, a Zaharan Ruinguard
  • Maximore, a Thrassian Abomination

Although the adventurers now had an idea of how to complete the frog god idol's challenge, they remained leery of the Black Mires. Furthermore, the hobgoblins were surely close to defeat. So the buried temple was selected as their destination. Before leaving, they heard yet more unfortunate news: a band of ogres had crossed over the Mirimen river from conquered Azen Radokh to lair in the Viaspen. The forest was now more dangerous than ever.

On a whim, instead of going straight to the hobgoblin area, the party opened a previously untouched door. They quickly came face to face with an ogre, who demanded meat and gold. Dayman thought back to a trick he had read about in Sinbad's notes and threw the ogre a handful of silver. “This is hundreds of gold pieces in platinum”, he said. The ogre's piggy eyes squinted at the coins. Perhaps it saw through the ruse, or perhaps its hunger won out over its greed. In any case, it demanded that the party's tasty-looking elf be left in its lair as a treat. Unwilling to relinquish KM, but not desirous of a fight, the adventurers ran away and prepared to assault the hobgoblins.

Unfortunately, the beastmen seemed to have replenished their numbers in the intervening time. The battle proved more difficult than expected, and the ever unlucky Dayman took two spear thrusts to the shoulders. The dead hobgoblins proved to be just as dangerous as they had been while alive, for Brother Pele was later forced to amputate both of Dayman's arms. Awakening from the operation, he bemoaned how he was the only member of the party that anything bad ever happened to. His friends laughed at him and thanked him for his continued resilience in the face of tragedy. Despite the grievous extent of his injuries, Dayman's restoration in Cyfaraun went remarkably well, and the adventurers were able to return to the buried temple in only six weeks. Maximore chose to scout ahead in the Viaspen during their approach; minor disaster struck when he failed to notice a band of gnolls who proceeded to spring an ambush on the rest of the party. During the fighting, Pele went down with an injured hip, but the others held their ground, and the lizard-man returned just in time to rip apart the last gnoll

Making camp for the night, the adventurers' fire attracted the attention of a pack of wolves. On the watch, Dayman looked at the animals nervously, but the pack eventually left. As before, the hobgoblins had attracted new recruits. But this time their numbers were noticeably lessened, and the adventurers made short work of them. The party then began to explore this new sector of the temple. They came across a nest of fire beetles, but Dayman encouraged his fellows to leave the creatures in peace. Finding the beetles' bioluminescence utterly charming, the others assented.

Finally, the party came across a massive room filled with what appeared to be the remainder of the hobgoblin contingent. Initially, the fight went poorly, as Dayman and Maximore were barraged with flasks of flaming oil. Then Brother Pele and the hobgoblin witch doctor simultaneously began mighty incantations. Who can say what might have happened had the witch doctor completed his spell first. Instead, Brother Pele's magic put every single hobgoblin into a deep slumber. KM and Maximore gleefully ran around the room and slit beastman throats. Further exploring the hobgoblin territory, the adventurers found a set of stairs leading downward.

The hobgoblins vanquished, the adventurers returned to a secret door KM had noticed earlier. It turned out to lead to a makeshift prison cell that contained a few desiccated skeletons. [These were the remains of a group of merchants that had been missing since before the first iteration of the party began their quest some eight or nine months ago. They had not endured.] Guarding the prison cell was a group of kobolds. Not being aware of the secret entrance into the prison, the kobolds were more puzzled than anything else at where the party had come from. Eventually, one mentioned that it was going to ask Idimmu what to. Justifiably terrified of the dragon, the party quickly killed the kobolds and retreated.

The adventurers then began to descend down the hobgoblin staircase. What they found was truly disgusting. The walls of the lower floor were covered in thick flesh veins of flesh that undulated ominously. The air was hot and wet, smelling of bodily fluids and filth. Dayman borrowed Crispin's guisarme and poked one of the veins. It popped grotesquely and covered the blade with an ichorous slime. Quoth Dayman: “...I quickly hand it back to Crispin”.

The stairs ended in a small cave, with the only obvious means of entrance or exist being a simple wooden door. Despite its appearance, neither Dayman nor Maximore nor Greg could bash it down. The adventurers considered what to do and then remembered that they had found another set of stairs, these ones in the former lair of Drusus the bandit king. Perhaps those would lead to a more easily accessible part of the lower floor.

This proved to be both true and sorrowfully, terribly false. Following these stairs, the adventurers discovered that they led to another cavern, similarly adorned with the pulsating fleshy tendrils. Yet this cavern was bisected by a set of tightly-placed iron bars that blocked further exploration. Even after Maximore exercised his mighty thews and forced into existence a gap, the traversal of said gap would surely be slow and dangerous.

First Dayman pushed himself through. Then Pele, carrying a torch, followed. Then came Greg. As KM prepared to do the same, a low, baying howl issued from the unknown. Out of it loped four ghouls, their jaws slavering and their inhuman eyes full of hunger. Before the adventurers on the far side of the bars could do anything, Pele, Dayman, and Greg were all paralyzed by the undead. The ghouls then dragged the helpless adventurers back into the darkness, howling all the time.

KM, Crispin, and Maximore looked at each other. They knew what they had to be done, and they were not afraid. Even at this darkest of moments, their friends could not be abandoned. One by one, they pulled themselves through their bars. They charged bravely into the darkness and were devoured by the ghouls.

Death Count:

  • Greg
  • Krombopulos Michael
  • Brother Pele
  • Dayman
  • Crispin
  • Maximore

(For those keeping track at home, over ten sessions, sixteen characters have died. One (Sinbad) got to level 3. Five more got to level 2, and the rest remained level 1 until their demises.)

Wow.... That's stunningly brutal.

Yes. Yes it was.

For anyone who cares: We had the usual "why did everyone die" discussion afterward, since the players had grown quite fond of this iteration of the party. The conclusion was that Brother Pele should have been one of the last people to squeeze through the bars. Sending him through second was a huge mistake. If he had been out of reach when the ghouls showed up, he could have summoned berserkers for help. And those probably would have been sufficient to keep to defeat the ghouls in and of themselves.

Because we have had two TPKs and many assorted casualties, I offered to let the group restart the campaign in a different dungeon, in case they wanted a change of pace or a fresh start. But they remainded adamant in their desire to beat the Sinister Stone of Sakkara.

I really like your group. Persistent, irrespressible. Clone them, and send me a copy.

Session XI: Funhouse Edition

The cast:

  • Finn McCarr, a Venturer
  • Regular-Sized Rudy, a Dwarven Fury
  • Pilo Filo, a Paladin
  • Barborygmos (“Borb”), a Cleric of Ammonar, Pilo's brother
  • Buddy, an Elven Ranger
    • Linda, his henchman, an Elven Courtier
      • Sammy Davis Jr. Jr., her familiar, a small dog
  • Robin, a Warlock
    • Batmanuel, his bat familiar, soothsayer

In recent months, beastmen attacks have ravaged the fertile farms of the Borderlands. Lacking the manpower to stop them himself, the stern and proud Legate of the mighty fortress Türos Tem has put out a call for brave (or foolhardy) adventurers. They will risk their lives and stop the attacks for gold and glory (and XP, obviously). Seven such would-be heroes answer the call and make their way to Türos Tem to halt the beastman tide.

Türos Tem was clearly not doing well. Its eastern wall was heavily damaged and battered, as if great stones had been thrown at it. Its interior was littered with rubble. And at the foot of the hill upon which it stood, a small stone cube, a few feet across, floated a dozen feet up in the air. Floating cubes not exactly being a common sight, the party decided to investigate this structure. It was bereft of any markings or adornments, save for one: on one of its faces, there was an indentation about the size of a human hand.

One of the keep's legionaries noticed the adventurers looking at the cube, and went over to them. Apparently, the cube had appeared suddenly a few weeks ago. Another soldier had climbed up to it, put her hand of the indentation, and vanished without warning. No one had seen her since. The party also learned that the damage to Türos Tem had been sustained during an assault by a combined group of bugbears and ogres. It was suspected that these bugbears were the same group who had recently annihilated the entire garrison of the nearby Türos Aster.

The legionary left them with the advice to seek out the keep's priestess, Genelen. She apparently had recently had a vision that might be of some assistance in fighting off the beastmen threat. Speaking to Genelen, the adventurers learned that this was indeed the case. One night, while engaged in her meditations, the priestess' consciousness had been devoured by the eternal. When she regained her sense of self, she found that she had written an extensive set of notes detailing the effort of other adventurers in delving into a buried temple that lay hidden in the Viaspen Forest. Such knowledge would be invaluable to this new group. She offered it to them, under one condition. Her suspicion was that the floating cube's interior was larger than its small exterior might suggest. If this were the case, who could say what evils it might contain. The adventurers were asked to press their hands against the indentation and explore the cube.

The party debated amongst themselves as to whether this was an even remotely sane possibility. Feeling that it was not, they offered to make a substantial donation to the keep's temple in exchange for the notes. Genelen was unwilling at first, but Linda's silver tongue convinced her that the deal was palatable. The adventurers took the notes and prepared to venture into the Viaspen. Yet the seed had been sown. That night, Finn and Pilo ran into each other in the middle of the night. Both had been thinking about the cube. “I have a really good feeling about this”, Finn said. Pilo agreed.

The next morning, they communicated their wishes the to rest of the party. Robin was reluctant. He had Batmanuel enter one of its sooth-saying trances, and it asked of the outer powers, “Is it possible to escape the cube?” “No” came their response. Finn was not dissuaded: “They were probably lying.” After much wheedling and begging, the group agreed to enter the cube.

Borrowing a ladder from the legionaries, the group climbed up to the cube and in succession touched the indentation. One by one, they were pulled from their location and tossed through space. When they regained their senses, they found that they were on the floor of an offputtingly asymmetric hall, flanked on either side by balconies. Behind them was an old altar covered in ancient bloodstains that Robin recognized as being dedicated to Bel, the Most Violent of All Gods and Men.

Before much could be done, eight purple-skinned, three-eyed goblin-like creatures revealed themselves to have been hiding on the balconies, and began to fire down at the party. In the ensuing fight, Robin took a few bolts too many and hit his head on the ground as he fell, badly addling his brains. Other than that, the goblins fell with relative ease, and the adventurers moved to explore their new surroundings. Borb wondered if sacrificing something on the alter might be the key to escape, but Pilo Filo counseled against such a Chaotic deed.

The rooms they discovered were not constrained by traditional geometry. Some curved back onto themselves despite never changing direction. Others had upward and downward stairs that impossibly led to the same destination. Others still had bidirectional gravity. One could move around either on a floor or a ceiling in such an area. A selected list of their encounters:

  • A library filled with nonsensical astronomy texts.
  • A ballroom populated by seventeen humanoid and well-dressed automata. Four danced with halting, jerky movements, and the rest stood listlessly. Buddy saw that each automaton had a large chunk of mithril in its chest cavity, but none of the party dared approach.
  • A blue vortex of arcane energy that whirled ominously. The adventurers decided that the vortex led back to Türos Tem. To test this theory they wrote a letter saying that the letter's finder should throw a leek into the cube. Although they repeatedly returned to the entrance room, no leeks were found. While walking past this vortex at a later point, Pilo Filo was sucked into it, and he vanished without a trace.
  • A salon, the furniture of which was exclusively three-legged. Hidden in a secret compartment of this room, Linda found two bottles of wine. Robin drank from one, and his skin turned a rather appealingly lime shade of green.
  • A small room with a tall pole in it. The pole had the phrase “this is a pole” inscribed repeatedly on its entire surface.
  • Mirrors that did not reflect their surroundings.
  • A bedroom lit by floating spheres of magenta. Rudy went to jump on the bed and was slammed against the wall with horrific force. Pilo Filo took a grievous wound while trying to save his friend and bit off his tongue as he fell to the ground.
  • A crystal ball. After Pilo Filo's disappearance, Borb moved to it and requested that it show him his brother's location. The crystal ball was filled with a most distressing image: Their paladin friend, strapped to a bed of stone in a hellish location and being tormented by monstrous devils. Borb then asked to see the dungeon's exit, and it showed him the arcane vortex. He paused for a moment. “What about the other exit?” Again, he was shown the vortex.
  • A “fishery” filled with dozens of giant stone fish. Every so often, an adventurer would notice that one of the fish had disappeared.

The adventurers had all the amusing and bizarre interactions with these wonders that one would expect adventurers to have with a bunch of weird objects. They also discovered that the goblins in the entrance chamber had the ability to regrow themselves. On several occasions the party returned to that area and had to cut apart half-formed goblin bodies. Yet nowhere did they find an exit. When they found themselves again traversing the vortex room, Rudy was the next one to be snatched by it. The remainder of the group looked at one another, and they ran in unison toward the vortex and jumped into the unknown.

Mortal Wounds Count:

  • Robin, addled brain
  • Pilo Filo, bit his own tongue off

They are impressively indefatiguable. All of my players are pretty big fans of the "roguelite" genre (e.g. Binding of Issac, Spelunky, Risk of Rain), the entries of which are characterized by high difficulty and frequent failures. So that may be where they get some of their resilience.

Love the Bob's burger's reference with regular sized Rudy.

Did they manage to spend any of their gold from the first group on reserve XP? that can potentially take out the sting of a TPK or even regular player death.

Excellent. My first introduction to anything D&D-ish as a child was a bootleg BASIC rehash of Telengard and a couple of the original "roguelikes", Rogue itself; Moria...good times.

Yeah, most of the characters' names have been media references, because that is what happens when you need a name and do not know if your character is going to survive for more than a session or two.

I've been using a houserule where you only get XP from wealth that you spend (so you cannot just bring it back from a dungeon and get the benefit). Thematically, I like it because it keeps the adventurers poor and money-grubbing. (Because it makes it harder to level up and also slightly increases player bookkeeping, I asked the group what they thought of the rule after a couple of sessions. They all agreed it was worth keeping around.) If/when the game gets to domain levels, I will modify or remove it I think.

One of the behaviors my houserule seems to incentivize is more regular gaining of reserve XP. There's not a whole lot of expensive equipment low level characters need to buy, and the players have not demonstrated a huge interest in having large quantities of hirelings following them around. So the two biggest wealth sinks have probably been excessive debauchery (i.e. reserve XP) and buying "credits" at the local temple in preparation for future castings of restore life and limb.

After the first TPK, I think most of the new party started at least halfway to level 2. I happened to roll up a relatively large hoard for a relatively small number of bugbears, and that helped out a lot as well. After the second TPK, most (I think?) of the new PCs started out at level 2.

it took me a second to parse your houserule.  I think i get it now: by spending the gold on something else, they also gain the XP they would have gotten for bringing it back to civilization.

As you mentioned, it sounds like it disfavors hiring henchmen, which was a big part of my campaign that I ran.  I probably would not use said houserule, but as they say "Each Campaign is a Law Unto Itself!"